New home with snake

I recently moved into my new home and worked like a trooper from 4am to night-time non-stop for 7 days solid. 8^th day, by after lunch, I was absolutely cooked. So naturally, I retired to a well-earned bubble bath and a civilized glass of wine.

Feeling relaxed, moisturised, and victorious, I headed upstairs wrapped only in a towel to get dressed. That’s when I discovered I had an intruder in my new home. A fairly large brown snake had stationed itself directly outside my bedroom like a bouncer. Worse still, my tiny cat Luna was in the adjacent room, and the snake appeared to be very focused on her—clearly not a cat person.

I quietly retreated downstairs (still in my towel, still classy) to grab my phone and call a snake catcher. He informed me he’d be there in 40 minutes. Forty. Minutes. I knew Luna didn’t have that kind of time, so while waiting I armed myself with a soft broom and—channelling my inner wildlife negotiator—gently nudged the snake into my bedroom and shut the door. Luna: safe. Me: shaking, but proud.

Forty minutes later, the snake catcher arrived. The poor, handsome young man was greeted by a middle-aged woman in a towel with unmistakable “wine breath,” who then calmly informed him that the snake was somewhere in her bedroom.

So there he was, torch in hand, searching my bedroom—under picture frames, along skirting boards—while I suddenly remembered an important detail. During the nudging process, the snake had wrapped itself around my bed legs. Cue me dramatically ripping off pillows and flinging back bed covers. At this point, the snake catcher was watching me as closely as the room, clearly wondering whether I was the bigger hazard.

And there it was: the snake, cozied up under the mattress, wrapped around the bed frame like it had paid rent. Relief all around when he safely removed what turned out to be a semi-harmless tree brown snake.

In the end, I’m fairly sure he was more afraid of me than the snake—especially since I had to chase him down the driveway to give him his fee.

Welcome to my new home. 🐍🍷